Don't forget where home is
by tigereyes320
Summary: After Reality Check Shalimar does some thinking. She and Brennan finally do some talking and . . .


Don't forget where Home is . . . by tigereyes320  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Mutant X. Tribute Entertainment owns the rights to these characters. No copyright infringement is intended. This is set after the episode Reality Check but before the episode Reawakening  
  
A/N I want to thank hasapi for Betaing this for me. I've liked this particular pairing since I first saw them almost kiss at the end of the first season. Unfortunately I haven't paid a lot of attention this season, so some of my facts might be wrong, so please forgive the errors. This particular fanfiction might seem a bit OOC for Shalimar and Brennan both. But I decided even a feral like Shalimar would argue with herself and come to a conclusion of some sort after the episode Reality Check. I'm also really tired of them dancing around this sexual tension. I also haven't really paid attention to the time frame in which the show is set, so if there are any error's again it's my fault or perogative. ' ' signify thoughts. " " signify spoken words.  
  
****************************  
  
Shalimar was walking around the dark city breathing in the crisp night air. She loved it when it was like this: just her, the city, and bad guys so that she could get her needed butt-kicking in. Sometimes the feral in her had to hunt.  
  
Shalimar closed her eyes for a moment to see if her feral senses could pick up anything at all. As she did, instead of honing in on what was out in the night, she found her mind wandering. She began thinking, again, about what had happened a few weeks before, when Ivanov was in her mind. When he made her think after she had woken up with Brennan, that they were married.  
  
****** Flashback *******  
  
Shalimar turned around and kissed the man in bed beside her. She'd felt his hand trail up her leg to her hip to her shoulder. Shalimar opened her eyes and they bugged out. She broke off the kiss and leaned up on her arm to look down at Brennan-she was in bed with Brennan!  
  
"Brennan . . . What do you think you're doing?" Shalimar asked, her eyes darting to his face in shock.  
  
"Hey. I didn't think you'd ever wake up," Brennan said while sleepily rubbing his eyes.  
  
Shalimar looked around her, still very confused. "What's going on? What is this place? What are we doing in bed?"  
  
"It's not that odd for a husband and wife to be sharing a bed together," Brennan said, caressing the side of her face and hair.  
  
Shalimar did a double take and didn't bother not to show her shock, "What are you talking about?"  
  
"We're coming up on our second anniversary. It's too late to back out now," Brennan said, smiling sweetly, showing her the ring he wore on his left hand.  
  
Shalimar looked down at her own left hand and saw an engagement and wedding ring set there. Shalimar looked horrified and immediately got out of the bed. "I don't like this joke, Brennan," she snapped at him.  
  
"If someone is telling a joke, I wish they'd share it with me. 'Cause I could use a good laugh right now," said Brennan as he pushed himself up to a reclining position in the bed, offering Shalimar an excellent view of his bare chest.  
  
Shalimar walked around the four poster bed, "What happened at the embassy? There was guy there, he shot me," she said as she felt her neck with her hand. Brennan threw the covers back and came around from his side of the bed toward her. "Don't you remember? We had dinner here at home last night. And then we went outside, sat down and looked up at the stars. . . . Don't you remember?  
  
"Why are you doing this? Okay where the hell are we? What's going on?" Shalimar asked, getting upset. "And while we're at it. . . would you mind putting some pants on please?" Shalimar tried to avoid looking down at Brennan's naked body  
  
Brennan glanced down before looking at her perplexed. "All right, if you think there something wrong with the way things are, then why don't you tell me the way things are supposed to be."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, you said we were at an embassy. What were we doing there?" Brennan asked patiently, although he was bordering on patronizing.  
  
"You know. . .We were trying to find the people that took our scientist, Rydell. God Brennan, this just happened yesterday!" Shalimar was quickly getting frustrated with Brennan's attitude.  
  
"Who do you think we are? And why would we be interested in a scientist?" Brennan asked, perplexed.  
  
"Why are you asking me these questions?" Shalimar asked, exasperated.  
  
**********End Flashback *********  
  
Shalimar's eyes snapped open. "It wasn't real," she told herself angrily.  
  
'Then why does a part of you wish it was?' her brain argued back. 'You know Ivanov could only use what was already in your head.'  
  
Shalimar blew out her breath in disgust. If her head was back there, it wasn't where it needed to be and that was very dangerous. She might as well head back to Sanctuary now. She was no good to herself or anyone else considering the mood she was in right now.  
  
As Shalimar walked past a park, she saw a bench and decided to sit down for a bit. She looked out at the quiet night. Shalimar shook her head, "Why is this bothering me so much? Brennan and I are friends. Granted there has been some tension between us, partly because of all the near misses we keep having, and partly because I haven't dealt with what happened a few weeks ago. So I liked the idea of waking up with him. Ugh! This is just lust. It's our hormones. It could never be real, could it? So what if my heart was in my throat when Emma and I found him unconscious in the garage after he confronted Fletcher? This was while his powers were mutating beyond his control. Who really cares that when Ivanov was in my head, that for the moment before I opened my eyes, I knew I was where I belonged." Shalimar trailed off, leaning her head back and looked up at the stars.  
  
'I know my eyes must have been popping out of my head. I had been kissing Brennan in a bed. I first thought that Brennan had found me after I was shot, then dumped me in a bed, and then just joined me so if someone found us the husband/wife cover would stick. Then when I asked him about it, him telling me we'd been married almost two years. It was so weird. Then he got out of bed,' Shalimar lifted an eyebrow at that memory. 'I wonder if he really looks like that naked, or if it was just my imagination? If he really looks like that. . .Wow!' Shalimar was thinking, as a wicked little grin spread across her face.  
  
"I need to head back home," she said shaking her head. "Actually, what I really need is a swift kick in my behind. Brennan and I aren't meant to be anything! I mean really, what kind of life could we have? I doubt Adam would let us stay in Mutant X at Sanctuary. How could we possibly concentrate on what we're doing if our mind was on someone else's safety. More so then usual at least." Shalimar laughed out loud at the thought of the look on Adam's face, if he allowed her and Brennan to stay once they got together, when they told him they would need another room for a nursery. Shalimar knew, as a feral, that once she settled down with a mate, she would have a child. Or possibly multiple children, ferals tended to have multiple births. She didn't know if she would be a good mother. However, no child of hers would ever doubt that their mother would lay down her life for them. 'Babies with Brennan,' Shalimar mused. She could see them in her minds eye; a little boy with Brennan's dark good looks and her fiery personality, and a little girl with her blond curls and Brennan's love of poetry and mischief.  
  
Shalimar shook her head as she stood up. All of this was a dream, a fantasy, that would never, could never come true. "I'm going home."  
  
She gradually made her way home, without incident. When she finally got inside Sanctuary it was almost one in the morning. Shalimar didn't really feel tired yet, so she went toward the living room. As she got closer she heard the television (A/N I'm assuming there will always be some form of television and movies to be watched.) When she entered the room, Brennan was on the sofa. He sat with his feet up on the table as he ate his way through a huge bowl of popcorn, occasionally channel surfing by zapping the remote control with a tiny tesla coil.  
  
Shalimar sauntered over to him. "Am I grounded for being out past curfew 'Daddy'?" she asked sarcastically.  
  
Brennan jumped a bit at the sound of her voice, 'Damn feral abilities.' Brennan gave her an innocent smile, "I wasn't waiting up for you. After I worked out for awhile, I couldn't sleep and decided to make some popcorn and watch some TV. I was thinking about starting a movie. Are you going to go to bed right away, or did you want to join me down here to watch a movie?"  
  
"I'll join you if that's okay. I just want to get out of these clothes and into something that's actually comfortable," said Shalimar as she headed to her room.  
  
Brennan called after her, "Any preference on the movie?"  
  
"You can choose," said Shalimar  
  
"It'll have to be one those mushy ones. They always put me to sleep," Brennan said as he flipped through the movies they had to find one.  
  
Once Shalimar got in her room upstairs, she stripped off her clothes. Since she had decided on comfort she went with a tight black tank and loose green and blue plaid pajama bottoms. Shalimar went into her bathroom and washed her face and brushed her hair out. As she left her room she grabbed a blanket that was hung over a chair. The living room was sometimes cold this early in the morning.  
  
She walked downstairs and back into the living room; as she did, she noticed the movie Brennan had put in. She bit back a groan, "Brennan! Chocolat?"  
  
"Hey, you said my choice. Besides, women and chocolate are always a good bet. Come on, sit beside me. I promise I won't bite," wheedled Brennan.  
  
Shalimar went and sat beside him. She was about to arrange her blanket around her legs when Brennan stole a side of it and arranged it around his own legs as well. As he did, their legs tangled together under the blanket. Although they sat shoulder to shoulder, Shalimar still felt a bit self- conscious around him. She missed the easy comraderie they used to share.  
  
"Shal, can I ask you something?" Brennan finally asked, cutting into her thoughts.  
  
"Sure," said Shalimar as she grabbed a handful of popcorn.  
  
"You've been uneasy around all of us, but especially me, since they took you at the embassy." He held up his hand to keep her from interrupting. "Shal let me finish. When we found you, you acted as if I would hurt you. Like I did hurt you. Please tell me you know that I would never hurt you intentionally? Will you please share with me what happened, when Ivanov was in your head?"  
  
"Bren it wasn't just that you guys all ganged up on me. Before that, it went deeper," explained Shalimar.  
  
"What do you mean? You know you don't have to tell me of course, but we are friends," said Brennan as he ate some popcorn.  
  
"Just Friends?" Shalimar asked nonchalantly as she helped herself to some more popcorn as well.  
  
Brennan twisted his body and looked intently at Shalimar, who was trying to look busy by eating some popcorn. He gently took the bowl from her and put it on the table in front of them. Brennan took her hand in his, and brought it to his lips and kissed it. Shalimar curled the hand around to cup his jaw, feeling the soft bristles of his beard coming through his skin, against her palm.  
  
Brennan looked her in the eyes. "I was under the impression that 'Just Friends' was what you wanted. That doesn't mean I don't want it to be more. Why?"  
  
"When Ivanov was in my head he used my connection to you," Shalimar confessed softly.  
  
"What do you mean?" Brennan asked, concerned with the look that was in her eyes.  
  
"I mean when I first came to, after he shot me with that dart thing. I was in this huge four poster bed. . . with you."  
  
"With me?" Brennan's eyebrows shot up with the image in his mind her words created.  
  
"In that memory, I woke up slowly. I feel someone's hand touching my thigh and trailing their hand up my hip, to my waist and then to my arm. I rolled over with my eyes still closed to snuggle closer, and I kissed this person in bed with me. Almost like it was this habit I had. A part of me must have recognized it was you, just by your scent. But, it just somehow felt wrong though, like it were in this situation by force. I opened my eyes and found that you really were in bed with me. I was surprised to say the least, and then you started talking and it got so much worse from there."  
  
"What did I say? From the look on your face, it must have really upset you."  
  
"That's part of the problem. I'm not sure if the whole thing bothered me or not." Shalimar shook her head in disgust.  
  
Brennan let go of her hand and put his arm around her shoulder and eased Shalimar into the crook of his neck. He began to stroke her arm lightly. "Tell me the rest," he coaxed gently as he rocked her back and forth.  
  
"Okay. When I asked you what we were doing in bed, you told me it wasn't that unusual for a husband and wife to be sharing a bed." Shalimar said, her words muffled against his shirt.  
  
"Husband and wife?" Brennan asked to clarify.  
  
"Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction too. When I asked you what you were talking about, you said we were coming up on our second anniversary and that it was too late for me to back out now. I jumped out of bed and then so did you. They must have realized by then that we didn't have that kind of relationship or anything. After arguing with you I turned to leave the room and then I was here at Sanctuary. That's when you all verbally attacked me. I came across Eckhart who told me he was the good guy, Adam was the bad guy. Then you and I started to fight. . . and you ended up going over the edge and breaking your neck. I turned around and you were right there again. You told me that 'I could be a real pain in the neck.' Then you snapped your neck into the proper position."  
  
Brennan held Shalimar close as she burrowed deeper into his chest while he kept rocking her back and forth hoping he was giving her some sort of comfort. "Shal, I'm so sorry I hurt or scared you, even if it wasn't real. I'd never want to really hurt you. Is this why you've been so edgy around me since it happened?"  
  
"Yes and no," said Shalimar, not looking at Brennan. "Brennan, it must be obvious that we're coming to a crossroads isn't it? We're going to have to make a decision about us, and stick to it. That is if we even want there to be an us."  
  
Brennan couldn't help himself as he pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head, as he asked softly, "Do you want there to be an us?"  
  
"I don't know. I'm so scared that if we try this we'll lose the friendship we have. And If it doesn't work out one of us will have to leave Mutant X and Sanctuary. But. . . But I think I'd like there to be an us."  
  
"Shal, you will never lose me, not as a friend. I don't think we'd screw it up either. I think we want this too much. Listen, you're half asleep and so am I. We can talk about it more in the morning," Brennan said as he shifted their weight on the sofa so he was laying down on his back and Shalimar was draped on top of him. He rearranged the blanket to cover them both, as they settled in together to finish watching the movie.  
  
Brennan unconsciously began stroking his hand up and down Shalimar's back in long soothing motions. Shalimar snuggled even closer to him, all but purring, enjoying the intense heat his body was giving off. They lay there together on the sofa not speaking for almost an hour.  
  
"Shal?" asked Brennan, breaking the silence.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Do you want to go out with me on Saturday night? We could go see a movie or something," suggested Brennan with a wheedling smile.  
  
Shalimar looked up at him. "You mean like an actual date?" She paused for a moment. "Okay."  
  
"Okay?"  
  
Shalimar smiled, "Yeah, Okay. I'd like to go see a movie or do something with you on Saturday night-but no mushy movies. I want an acton flick."  
  
Brennan smiled himself, "It's a date then. I want to do something first though, if it's okay with you?"  
  
"Sure; What is it?" asked Shalimar as she raised her head to look at him.  
  
Brennan took Shalimar's face in his hands and brought her face up to his, as he brushed his lips lightly across hers. "See, that wasn't so bad," he teased.  
  
"Nope, not at all. In fact, it's about damn time." Shalimar said as she pulled Brennan up in a sitting position and scooted herself up so that she was straddling his lap. She took his face in her hands and brought their lips together again this time not so lightly.  
  
Brennan brought his arms up and wrapped them around her. Their mouths opened as they explored each other's mouths. Their arms caressed each others hair, shoulders, arms and backs. They spent some long moments doing just that. Then they broke off the kiss and just looked at each other breathing heavily.  
  
"You should get to bed," said Brennan as he caressed her face, desperately trying to calm his body down.  
  
"So should you," Shalimar said as she ran her fingers through his hair and down the angles and planes of his face.  
  
"Right now, sleep is not what I need; a really, really cold shower would be helpful right now."  
  
Shalimar looked at him shyly. "Will you do something for me?"  
  
"Anything," said Brennan as he kissed Shalimar's neck.  
  
"Stay in my room with me tonight," Shalimar requested softly.  
  
Brennan's head shot up as his eyes searched her face. 'She can't mean what that sentence just implied.'  
  
"I'm not saying that we should . . .yet. I mean I'm not asking for sex, not yet anyway." Shalimar smiled at him. "I was hoping you would just spend the night holding me. I want the memory of waking up with you to be real this time." Shalimar cringed a bit; maybe this wasn't what he'd want.  
  
Brennan smiled at her and nodded, understanding what she was asking from him.  
  
Shalimar crawled off his lap and turned off the movie and TV. Brennan gathered up the blanket and extended his other hand to her. She took it and led him him upstairs. Once there, Shalimar paused outside her bedroom.  
  
"I can sleep in my own bedroom Shal," offered Brennan. "I can't promise you that if I go to sleep with you in there, that I won't try to tempt you into letting us take it further. I do promise to respect your wishes."  
  
Shalimar turned toward him, "Do you see us falling in love? That whole happily ever after thing? Or is this thing between us just lust?"  
  
"It could be love. I'd say we as a group are overdue for a little happily ever after. I do think we have an incredible physical attraction, but if that was all it was we would have been there, and done that. What about you?"  
  
"I agree with you."  
  
"How about we talk more on Saturday?"  
  
"That would be great."  
  
They went into her room; Shalimar had Brennan toss the blanket on the chair and she climbed into her bed. Brennan after climbing into her bed with her, spooned his body behind Shalimar's and put his arms around her. Shalimar placed her hands over his and closed her eyes.  
  
Brennan felt Shalimar's body relax against his signifying that she was asleep. He kissed her temple, "I'm not going to screw this up, Shal. I know this isn't just hormones, not with you. I won't let either of us screw this up. I love you too much to do that." With that said, Brennan closed his eyes and fell asleep.  
  
Shalimar's eyes opened for a moment and she whispered, "I love you too, Bren." She closed her eyes and then joined him in dream land  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ The Next Morning *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
The next morning as Brennan slowly woke up, he came to a few realizations. One, he wasn't alone in bed and two he wasn't even in HIS bed. He opened his eyes in the dark room. Brennan mentally shook the cobwebs free. Realization dawned pretty quickly-he was in Shalimar's room, in her bed, holding her in his arms. Memories of last night's conversation flooded his head as he trailed his hand up the side of her body. Shalimar stirred in his arms, she turned around and while her eyes were still closed kissed him. Brennan kissed her back.  
  
Shalimar opened her eyes as they broke off the kiss and smiled at him. "Hi, this is real isn't it? " she asked in a shy whisper.  
  
"Hi yourself, do you want me to give you a pinch to prove it's real?" joked Brennan as he caressed her face.  
  
Shalimar shook her head then put her head back down on his chest. She snuggled up close to him and just relaxed against him. Brennan also just enjoyed the unusual peacefulness that enveloped them as he held her close to his heart.  
  
"Are we going to get up?" asked Shalimar reluctantly.  
  
"Do we have to?" asked Brennan with equal reluctance.  
  
Shalimar smiled, "Eventually we will. You ever gonna tell me why you were waiting up for me last night?"  
  
Brennan sighed, " I wanted to make sure you were all right when you got home and that you hadn't forgotten where home was."  
  
"Brennan, you don't have to worry. I always know where my home is, and I now know where I truly belong," Shalimar said as she leaned up and kissed him again.  
  
As Brennan began to kiss her back, and they let the bedding cover them as they got lost in each other's arms.  
  
The End 


End file.
